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The SOG Files (I GOT ZE AIDS)
(((WARNING NSFW AHEAD, PROCCEED WITH CAUTION AND A GUY NAMED STEVE))) We meet our heroes enjoining a well earned vacation at a McDonalds during a robot apocalypse, they were sitting around a table eating happily: "THIS FUCKING SUCKS I CANT EAT THIS BURGER!" Viper raged, he could not eat since he was a robot. "I saw you eating an ice cream on the way here" Bree raised an eyebrow. "Guys, LOOK WHAT I GOT ON MY HAPPY MEAL!" Meds had a cute small animal crossing plushy that squeaked when pressed. "See? getting you a happy meal was not that bad..." Flaky said "ITS TERRIBLE! THIS IS THE WORST BIRTHDAY EVER!" Meds cried out Then Dusty decided it was time to share her deep thoughts on the way people live in a materialistic era and the consequences of human morals being shaped by pop culture "ARSFDSFDSGFDHFDIFDBOFDHBFDBUDFHBDF" that or she was just chocking on all the burgers she had shoved in her mouth: "AASHDSAFHSDGDSGJPDODFHJDFOHJOFDH'DFIHJDFH'JDF'HFDJH" Mandalore was snoozing on Tyrin's meal - w - zzzzzz, Tyrin was sad but flaky kindly shared his with Tyrin ^^ THEN HARDCORE SEX...mmmmm marvelous. Okay there was no hardcore sex, yet, Scary was eating her meal holding it with her branches, she then hopped on her tea splashing everyone around, she needed to drink with her roots: "MY EYES!!" flaky screamed in pain "DAMMIT SCARY MY BEARD IS NOW ALL MOIST!" Babylon raged "My shake is all wet now thank you Scary" Sshaken said angrily as he crushed the shake in his hands. "アナルアナルアナルアナルアナルアナルアナルアナル" Viper began to spam, Bree sighed, Viper tried to eat the burger some meat got stuck inside and fucked up with the hardware, she opened his back and rebooted the main OS. Col.Sexypants was munching on his butter filled brown donut vigorously, it was delicious and to have the warm butter all over his face it made it even better: "THIS IS ZE PARADISE! LALALALALALALALALALAALLALAALLAA" then he pulled a cord and set off all the C4 strapped to his chest blowing up the entire building and everyone in...(ok that never really happened) Commercial break (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ *:･ﾟ✧ "Hi I'm Sean Kenneth, I used to walk naked in airports, puke on old ladies, and make Vlog videos, but then I heard of our lord and savior Mutahar, then I joined the forces of ultimate happiness (WE ARE NOT A CULT) and now my life is happy, If you wish to join, just come by one of the recruitment centers with a NY cap, and boom you will part of us, we live freely under a very strict schedule, we only eat the best of food which is Raptor gonads and fat middle age woman milk, during the day we do activities like writing fanfics like the one reading right now and making too perverted articles for PLAYBOY." BACK TO OUR REGULAR PROGRAM The SOG was still enjoining the meal when suddenly Chris Hansen popped from Areis soda: "I WAS GONNA DRINK THAT!" Areis raged. "SOG TEAM! why don't you take a seat over there" The SOG team nervously took a seat, Hansen began to explain how the SOG was caught on "CATCHING A PREDATOR" and was then show proof of the chat the SOG team had with a 14 year old "I want to spread butter on you **** and lick it off with your pet hamster watching" Hansen read from a piece of paper containing the chat, the SOG team tried to make up lame excuses on the go while nervously shaking its head, after that the SOG team was free to go and right outside the SOG team was caught by the cops. Actually...that did not happen, Chris Hansen actually informed the SOG team of a new reich created by Zelda: "You are the world's last hope" Hansen said "What about the robot apocalypse, what about it?" Bree pointed out Everyone shushed her but before they left on their adventure, Hansen stretched his mouth and a Cybernetic whale named Prof and an umbreon with a machinegun named Afterlife came out of it "You will need these 2 in order to win" Hansen said "Why?" Bree asked "SHUT UP BREE" everyone added And so the epic adventure of ultimate FABOLOUSNESS began with a blast and you will see why right no- COMERCIAL BREAK: "SPREAD IT ALL OVER MY FACE" Yes the newest suntan lotion and now with more natural ingredients, and for the ladies we have "SPREAD IT ALL OVER MY BREASTS" Back to our regular programming The team went to Hyrule on their flying candy van: "So...you are a cyber whale..." Areis wondered "It's nice to see someone else with flippers on this team" "Actually my flippers are now canons that shot exploding flippers" Prof said "IN MAH DAYS WE DID NOT LET POKEMON HANDLE MEN GUNS!" said Babylon the vietnam veteran to afterlife "Ptfff nowadays pokemon are as avid with weapons as humans, besides I got opposable thumbs" Ruby the espeon looked at her paws and wondered "how did you get those?" "Magic..." Afterlife awnsered "OOOOOOH...that explains everything in a scientific and reasonable way" everyone said at the same time and now everything was ok. "We are closing in on Hyrule" Marcus said, and soon enough the van crashed into the temple The whole team jumped out on the van and surrounded Zelda: "GIVE IT UP SISTAH! WE GOT YOU SURROUNDED!" Jerry the dinosaur (Meds's best friend) "I dont know what's going on...are you Ganon's new servants?" "We know all about your newly created Reich created to conquer the world during the Robo-apocalypse...boy that sounds stupid when I say it" Flaky said "You sound great when you say it" Tyrin said ^-^ while cuddling Flaky Flaky was so aroused that his man/lady boner was so hard that ended up hitting Zelda in the face so hard that it make her bleed BRUTALLY!!! HER NOSE WAS CRUSHED INTO A PILE OF RED GOO!!! BLOOODDDDD!!!!! knocking her out. Robin Williams came from...somewhere I dunno: "What do you want with my daughter?!" "She is trying to conquer the world" Dusty was already trying to shove her in her mouth "Wait! no...is not her you are looking for...it's...her vagina..." DUN DUN DUUUUUUUN Commercial break: "I LOVE a good spanking" Back to our program "Yes indeed, her vagina was not a normal vagina, but a cyborg vagina with its own mind, she was born with it, and now its trying to conquer the world, already a few heroes tried to stop it, but no one managed to" We cut to the vagina burping out Link's green hat We cut back to our heroes "Don't worry Robin Williams! we will stop the vagina!" Nipples said "My nipples already detect a nearby threat!" "Must be the Vagina" Marcus cut a hole through space and time with his scythe "LETS GO!" everyone stepped into the portal and were sent to the base of the new Reich, inside they saw that an army of Hitler clones was ready to conquer the world ಠ_ಠ SEIG FEIL ZE VAGINA FUHRER ಠ_ಠ SEIG FEIL ZE VAGINA FUHRER ಠ_ಠ SEIG FEIL ZE VAGINA FUHRER ಠ_ಠ SEIG FEIL ZE VAGINA FUHRER ಠ_ಠ SEIG FEIL ZE VAGINA FUHRER "SOG TEAM! RAPE THEM! RAPE THEM HARD!!!" Meds screamed out "That sounded so wrong..." Areis said, while everyone else shook their head in disappointment Meds went emo CRAWLING IN MY SKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN!!!!!! -Ok not really- The team charged at the army of Hitlers, Prof shot flippers from his canon hands while wiping any nearby Hitlers with a swing of his tail "WHO WANTS A PIECE OF THIS SUSHI?!" Afterlife would do a back flip and shoot them up while in the air landing perfectly on a un-expecting Hitler and then shove his machinegun down his through and fill his stomach with led, Nipples shot a beam of ultimate rainbow that would work like acid and burn their faces off, Dusty would toss her sticky tongue at any nearby clone and would drag him into her mouth, Viper shot the army full of bullets with his minigun and would smash their heads into pulp if they came too close, Scary turned into her evil tree form and would stomp on them, while Mandalore watched from the branches, Sshaken would grab Babylon, placed him on his shoulder, Sshaken would punch his way through while Babylon would finish them off with led, Bree would blaster-jump her way through the battlefield and then blast them from behind, exploding their anuses, Areis would summon an army of killer ninja dolphins, Meds would ride Jerry while he bit his way through, Ruby would lift them from the ground and make them explode, Flaky would grab Tyrin and would throw him in the air, then in the air Tyrin would do some sweet moves, and shoot a rocket from his mouth, Flaky would then kick the rocket in the Hitlers direction, Marcus would chop them with his scythe while rolling in the air with his scythe cutting everything in its path, Sexypants pulled out a huge needle and gave a bunch of hitlers ZE AIDS, then gave him some pretty hats, FILLED WITH AIDS. The SOG team then found their way into the Royal chamber where the Cyborg Vagina was waiting for them sitting on its throne, next to it Silent Writer was waiting carrying....a....a....CARROT. Silent Writer was beaten to death, later his face would be used as toilet paper. Then it was just the vagina, and the SOG team. "It seems its only you and me SOG twerps..." "Wait...that voice...it can't be" "YES IT IS" the vagina opened, revealing Mutahar inside, he was the one controlling the whole thing. "HAHAHAHAAH you think Miley cyrus was enough to defeat me? FOOLS!!!" "LETS GO TEAM! WE WON ONCE! WE WONT GIVE UP NOW!" Flaky said and the whole team charged at the M man in a moment of epic Saturday morning cartoon goodness. Mutahar shot a white beam of "Hey guys and gals it's me Mutahar" IT WAS SUPER EFFECTIVE, SENDING THE TEAM FLIYING INTO SPACE. "How are we still alive without air? urgh why do I even care at this point" Bree crossed her arms grumpily while floating in space, Mutahar suddenly teleported behind the team and the real fight begun: Dusty used her tongue to tie up Mutahar, Flaky and Tyrin turned into Flaryn then shot a rocket to his face, Mutahar ate the rocket and shot it back to the team, Nipples deflected the rocket bouncing it towards the earth: "What did we just destroy?" Meds wondered " The Creepypasta Wiki" "YAY" everyone was then happy, but the fight was not over, Prof shot a green beam because lasers are best for when you want to be lazy, Col sexypants shot a bunch of hats out of his mouth that exploded at contact, Afterlife rode the laser and when it hit Mutahar, Afterlife did a back flip and kicked Mutahar in the face, but Mutahar felt nothing, he just managed to break free from Dusty's tongue and then summoned a huge green thumb from the youtube page and slammed on the team, but then Prof shot a exploding flipper destroying the thumb in a huge explotion that sent them all back to the mansion. "URGH...you sog twerps maybe have won again, BUT NEXT TIME I WILL CONQUER THE WORLD YOU WILL SEE AHAHAHAHAHAHA!" he then limped his way towards the exist, but the door was locked "URGH...let me see...w...where did I leave the keys? oh here they are..." he opened the door "wait...my wallet?...my wallet? where is it?...aw fuck it...I only had 5 bucks..." he then left in a hurry. "Hey guys I found a wallet!" Meds said as he raised a wallet covered in gold and gems, he then checked the content. "HUH...I did not know Mutahar was Robocop" suddenly the vagina re activated and something buzzed from it "Thank you SOG team for getting rid of that menace, I shall reward you..." "OH GOODIE! PRESENTS!" :D said Scary The vagina sprayed white fluid on them. Viper: "WHAT...THE...FU-" The end Category:Fanfiction Category:Fan Work Category:NSFW Category:Migrated Category:Trollpasta Category:Troll Pasta